Roosevelt Island, 2012

Darlings! So much happened at this event called "Nonclave!"  What else do you expect from an event that is known for its "Donut Hole" Elysiums, Water Dragons and Tremere Princes stripping themselves for faux pas? ... Oh, of *course* I am talking about  the little incident with Luman Gunn... who did you think I was talking about, my dears?

Also, children, children. Do please, start picking better venues for Parties and balls, would you?  Milwaukee in January, Ohio in July (though, really, Ohio... at any time...), and the ever scenic Roosevelt Island on what is invariably the hottest weekend of the year, leave something to be desired. However, our intrepid Nonclave campers made the best of it and had a "Beach Party!"  Yes. Really. A Vampire Beach Party. How... something. (Oh Baltimore, please, can you teach your wayward Sister City's Kindred how to throw a shindig? Pretty please with sugar on top!)

Best Dressed

Crash:  It must be hard being Lilyan Townsend, Toreador from... wherever it is she's from these days.  This elegant wrap draped beautifully, showing off those luscious curves.  This dame manages to pull of silk-gown-in-the-woods without looking the least bit out of place.  The jacket dresses it down by just the right amount.  A creative twist on a monochromatic theme with expertly varied textures.  Not into the shoes though.

Burn: Lilyan, this color green suits you so much better than that Jade color. *cough* Ahem. I hereby declare Lilyan Townsend the "It Girl" of Nonclave  - for her lovely style and her ability to attract so much attention.

 Crash:  Next, the lovely Lilah Ashford, an anarch beauty from Hartford, CT.  OK, so maybe a bikini isn't the greatest expression of taste, but it was so hot, who cares!  Really, this girl could wear a burlap sack and make it look good.  Shake what your momma gave you.

Burn: Sometimes, darlings, this blog is not about Fashion but about Style. My dear Ms. Ashford, ignore those Torrie haters that were all up in arms about your little black bikini -- they're just jealous.  Thumbs down; however, on the shoes. High heels, darling!! To show off those stunning legs!

Crash: Collette Green, Malkavian Primogen of Baltimore.  The hat is very gothic southern grand dame.  Gone with the Wind on mescalin, but it kind of works for her.

Burn: This lovely Kindred was lovely at the Baltimore event and she once again shows her graceful style, even in the middle of the woods. Snaps.  However, Crash, darling, the shoes could use a bit of work.

 Worst Dressed

 Crash:  Renfaire Wench Barbie!

Burn: Frankly, Crash, my dear, I kind of like this look. Okay, the skirt is a winkled mess, but, the shoes! Appropriate, heeled black boots that match the corset and little slave collar!! 

 Crash:  Olivia Kennedy Cole, Philadelphia. Not sure what she was going for here, but the cherry red does nothing for the bright orange locks, though I have to say, this is an improvement over the painted-on (no, literally) she wore to Glitter and Gloom.  At least she's wearing clothes this time.  A step in the right direction!

Burn: Well, what do you expect with Prince Julius Cole as a sire? Have you seen Julius with the big hats, ala the Alice in Wonderland's White Rabbit?

Crash:  Renfaire Cave-wench Barbie!

Burn: HA. I got nothing. 

 Crash:  Prince Rook and Seneschal Harrow of Annapolis. What. The.  Fuck.  Tie die mumu, Hawaiian print shirt?  I'm not sure I even have the heart to comment.

Burn: No. I get it! It is a Statement! It's performance art! It's actually a statement against Man's Inhumanity to Kindred or One's Sense of True Ennui at the Loss of the Beach or It is Lonely in this Modern World. It is *squee* perfect. I love performance art! Obviously these Toreador are using fashion to shake up one's perceptions of good taste!  Really. That has to be it. Oh, Rook and Harrow, you have looked so lovely, so dark, so mysterious, so likely to have a threesome with another hottie in the past, and this is so not the look for you.



Unfortunate Fashion Trend:  Prints, Doing it Wrong

Crash:  I know the theme was "beach party", but to these Kindred, that meant wearing some things we would shudder to upholster furniture in.  This travesty has got to stop.  This horrific trend is the absolute opposite of your goal!

Burn: I blame the Beach Party theme. What do you expect from a bunch of Kindred who haven't seen a Sunny Day at the Beach in decades?












Prints:  Doing it Right

Crash: If you MUST wear a print, do it like this. Anna Kinross, Anarch. 
 knows how to rock a summery print.  It retains some elegance with its drape, but achieves the light and airy that I think many of you were going for and failed.  Abysmally.  Seriously, please never do this again, unless you do it this well.

Burn: Wait. Wait. Wait. Anarchs... with style. Crash, my world view is being rocked, I tell you, rocked!











Gossip

Mmmm. Whatever should we talk about, darlings? I mean, what truly scandalous thing (and I mean scaaaaaaaaaaaaandalous) thing happen at Nonclave? Why... yes, of course, we mean how Lilah Ashford (childe of Chase) and the Anarch known as Kit apparently ran the Sons of Odin out of their own clubhouse (why yes, the Princes gave the Anarchs their own clubhouses on the island) by having rowdy "relations" that were loud enough to shake the cabin! Woo. Girlfriends!  Next time, dearhearts, film it for prosperity. Sex tapes made KimK famous, we are sure it would do the same for you.
How about that other scandal of the weekend? Of course we are talking about Northern Virginia's Malkavian Primogen Sheniver du Bois passing out "Bingo" cards at the beginning of Formal Court!  That's utterly appropriate for a Formal Court. Yup. Sure. Ahem. We had such squares as "Gangrel without a Mask" and "Anarch in a pretty dress" -- well, we've got one square!

And yet another scandal happened! Why, yes, we mean the *cheating* that happened during the Chessmatch between the two Princes. Prince Mattias got incredibly angry that the Anarch known as Deliah used her powers to "enlighten" some of his chess pieces. Tsk, tsk. So unfair! Apparently a number of Gangrel (including Piscin? Seriously, my dear, *still* calling yourself Gangrel?) were able to smooth things over and got the Anarch to apologize.  One prince won.  One prince was remarkably good at chess.  Not necessarily the same prince.

And oh yeah, Prince Datillo killed an Archon. Ahem. No. That's *not* scandalous at all. Not even a tiny bit. Nope!

Well, darlings, that's all we have for Nonclave! One note to our Burn Notice subscribers -- please contact us if your issue went astray and you haven't received your premium content yet!

Kisses!
Crash and Burn

(OOC NOTE - We love your costumes, guys, no matter what our characters say IC. :)  Please keep up the amazing costuming!)