Roosevelt Island, 2012

Darlings! So much happened at this event called "Nonclave!"  What else do you expect from an event that is known for its "Donut Hole" Elysiums, Water Dragons and Tremere Princes stripping themselves for faux pas? ... Oh, of *course* I am talking about  the little incident with Luman Gunn... who did you think I was talking about, my dears?

Also, children, children. Do please, start picking better venues for Parties and balls, would you?  Milwaukee in January, Ohio in July (though, really, Ohio... at any time...), and the ever scenic Roosevelt Island on what is invariably the hottest weekend of the year, leave something to be desired. However, our intrepid Nonclave campers made the best of it and had a "Beach Party!"  Yes. Really. A Vampire Beach Party. How... something. (Oh Baltimore, please, can you teach your wayward Sister City's Kindred how to throw a shindig? Pretty please with sugar on top!)

Best Dressed

Crash:  It must be hard being Lilyan Townsend, Toreador from... wherever it is she's from these days.  This elegant wrap draped beautifully, showing off those luscious curves.  This dame manages to pull of silk-gown-in-the-woods without looking the least bit out of place.  The jacket dresses it down by just the right amount.  A creative twist on a monochromatic theme with expertly varied textures.  Not into the shoes though.

Burn: Lilyan, this color green suits you so much better than that Jade color. *cough* Ahem. I hereby declare Lilyan Townsend the "It Girl" of Nonclave  - for her lovely style and her ability to attract so much attention.

 Crash:  Next, the lovely Lilah Ashford, an anarch beauty from Hartford, CT.  OK, so maybe a bikini isn't the greatest expression of taste, but it was so hot, who cares!  Really, this girl could wear a burlap sack and make it look good.  Shake what your momma gave you.

Burn: Sometimes, darlings, this blog is not about Fashion but about Style. My dear Ms. Ashford, ignore those Torrie haters that were all up in arms about your little black bikini -- they're just jealous.  Thumbs down; however, on the shoes. High heels, darling!! To show off those stunning legs!

Crash: Collette Green, Malkavian Primogen of Baltimore.  The hat is very gothic southern grand dame.  Gone with the Wind on mescalin, but it kind of works for her.

Burn: This lovely Kindred was lovely at the Baltimore event and she once again shows her graceful style, even in the middle of the woods. Snaps.  However, Crash, darling, the shoes could use a bit of work.

 Worst Dressed

 Crash:  Renfaire Wench Barbie!

Burn: Frankly, Crash, my dear, I kind of like this look. Okay, the skirt is a winkled mess, but, the shoes! Appropriate, heeled black boots that match the corset and little slave collar!! 

 Crash:  Olivia Kennedy Cole, Philadelphia. Not sure what she was going for here, but the cherry red does nothing for the bright orange locks, though I have to say, this is an improvement over the painted-on (no, literally) she wore to Glitter and Gloom.  At least she's wearing clothes this time.  A step in the right direction!

Burn: Well, what do you expect with Prince Julius Cole as a sire? Have you seen Julius with the big hats, ala the Alice in Wonderland's White Rabbit?

Crash:  Renfaire Cave-wench Barbie!

Burn: HA. I got nothing. 

 Crash:  Prince Rook and Seneschal Harrow of Annapolis. What. The.  Fuck.  Tie die mumu, Hawaiian print shirt?  I'm not sure I even have the heart to comment.

Burn: No. I get it! It is a Statement! It's performance art! It's actually a statement against Man's Inhumanity to Kindred or One's Sense of True Ennui at the Loss of the Beach or It is Lonely in this Modern World. It is *squee* perfect. I love performance art! Obviously these Toreador are using fashion to shake up one's perceptions of good taste!  Really. That has to be it. Oh, Rook and Harrow, you have looked so lovely, so dark, so mysterious, so likely to have a threesome with another hottie in the past, and this is so not the look for you.



Unfortunate Fashion Trend:  Prints, Doing it Wrong

Crash:  I know the theme was "beach party", but to these Kindred, that meant wearing some things we would shudder to upholster furniture in.  This travesty has got to stop.  This horrific trend is the absolute opposite of your goal!

Burn: I blame the Beach Party theme. What do you expect from a bunch of Kindred who haven't seen a Sunny Day at the Beach in decades?












Prints:  Doing it Right

Crash: If you MUST wear a print, do it like this. Anna Kinross, Anarch. 
 knows how to rock a summery print.  It retains some elegance with its drape, but achieves the light and airy that I think many of you were going for and failed.  Abysmally.  Seriously, please never do this again, unless you do it this well.

Burn: Wait. Wait. Wait. Anarchs... with style. Crash, my world view is being rocked, I tell you, rocked!











Gossip

Mmmm. Whatever should we talk about, darlings? I mean, what truly scandalous thing (and I mean scaaaaaaaaaaaaandalous) thing happen at Nonclave? Why... yes, of course, we mean how Lilah Ashford (childe of Chase) and the Anarch known as Kit apparently ran the Sons of Odin out of their own clubhouse (why yes, the Princes gave the Anarchs their own clubhouses on the island) by having rowdy "relations" that were loud enough to shake the cabin! Woo. Girlfriends!  Next time, dearhearts, film it for prosperity. Sex tapes made KimK famous, we are sure it would do the same for you.
How about that other scandal of the weekend? Of course we are talking about Northern Virginia's Malkavian Primogen Sheniver du Bois passing out "Bingo" cards at the beginning of Formal Court!  That's utterly appropriate for a Formal Court. Yup. Sure. Ahem. We had such squares as "Gangrel without a Mask" and "Anarch in a pretty dress" -- well, we've got one square!

And yet another scandal happened! Why, yes, we mean the *cheating* that happened during the Chessmatch between the two Princes. Prince Mattias got incredibly angry that the Anarch known as Deliah used her powers to "enlighten" some of his chess pieces. Tsk, tsk. So unfair! Apparently a number of Gangrel (including Piscin? Seriously, my dear, *still* calling yourself Gangrel?) were able to smooth things over and got the Anarch to apologize.  One prince won.  One prince was remarkably good at chess.  Not necessarily the same prince.

And oh yeah, Prince Datillo killed an Archon. Ahem. No. That's *not* scandalous at all. Not even a tiny bit. Nope!

Well, darlings, that's all we have for Nonclave! One note to our Burn Notice subscribers -- please contact us if your issue went astray and you haven't received your premium content yet!

Kisses!
Crash and Burn

(OOC NOTE - We love your costumes, guys, no matter what our characters say IC. :)  Please keep up the amazing costuming!)

PA Conclave

Hello my sweet darlings! We know you have missed us!

We have missed you too. But more importantly, we have missed the Fashion. And the Gossip. Do send us more gossip, it makes us so happy. On that note, our EXCLUSIVE CONTENT, available ONLY TO SUBSCRIBERS, will be available soon. Contact us if you want in on this sweet deal and want to read our "BURN NOTICE."

We made it to Lehigh Valley Conclave last month. Sadly, (oh, so sadly) judicial conclaves do not really lend themselves to "expressing the inner you" and fashion leaned towards the Court Room, rather than Court. However, we managed to find a few gems

For what it's worth...

Our Best Dressed List

First thing is first -- Justicars Streck, Morgan and Cock Robin are Faultless and so were their clothing choices! (Seriously, people,  did you actually think we might say something naughty about Justicars? For shame! We might be bitches but we're not stupid.)


In general, we were bored with the Fashion at Conclave. Black suits and blue ties as far as the eye could see. Some individuality is acceptable, gentlekindred! Perhaps an elegant lily in your lapel, or try jazzing your suit up with some Edwardian flair. Hats, by the way, children, hats are always welcome. Gloves too. If you must go formal, go all the way.

Crash: The lovely Zoe Moreau, Toreador Keeper of Scranton  Pennsylvania.  She was a vision in this understated romantic tea length gown of mauve crinkled silk.  The black contrast of the shoes, the shrug and the Battenburg lace fan put the somber touches on this ensemble.

Burn:  I love the sexy librarian look here. Snaps, my dear, for being both appropriate and adorable. I love her jewelry, fan and necklace. This lovely kindred can accessorize!

Crash: Mason, Mason, Mason.  Nosferatu Primogen of Buffalo, NY.  The blackthorn shillelagh, the spats, the art deco tie.  Maybe it's all the Boardwalk Empire I've been watching on Netflix, but this guy has put Capone and Nucky Thompson to shame. 

Burn: This, children, is how you DO a suit. I am so so so bored with the black suits and blue ties. Bored now! Mason's offering to Fashion was a standout and should be noted! Stand up, male Kindred, stand up to boring! Be a standout! Show the world that you are both a predator and a fashionista!

Crash: Juliette, Toreador Primogen of Westchester, NY.  Did what she could with the official proceedings-type atmosphere, and managed to pull off this sexy LBD with a twist.  Paisley lace, and more than a little decolletage.  Maybe a bit short for the occasion, but we did not hear anyone complaining.

Burn: I loved the short skirt! Meow! Show off those legs, darling!!

Worst Dressed

Crash: Recently appointed Archon Caia Wickham had the unenviable task of translating for his Avian Excellency, Justicar Cock Robin.  She wore a gray button-up vest, old fashioned watch chain. a fedora, and a triangle of black fabric tied around her head that served as an eye patch.  There was also the matter of the Tremere goody bag she wore cross-body style.  "Archon Fanny Pack" was what we heard people snickering behind their fingers.

Burn: HA. I do not think I can top "Archon Fanny Pack." 

Crash:  Now, normally, this sparkly blue number would earn ridicule for entirely different reasons.  Without the fishnet gloves and the shawl, it kind of has the thrift store prom dress vibe going on.  Not quite demode enough to be "vintage".  The real reason this one makes the list is occasion -- Judicial conclaves, as much as we all love them, are not really sparkly evening-wear kinds of events.  Save the sequins and the glitter for Midwinter, children.

Burn: I think this slight fashion faux pas is forgivable, especially since she's a neonate Gangrel from Pennsylvania. Dearest Jess, you looked sweet ... perhaps a bit too sweet.

And Crash, don't fib, we hate Judicial conclaves. Children, seriously, try to behave and not get into so much trouble? We would far more love to have amazing balls with dancing and fashion.  Otherwise, we get boring fashion like this poor dear. Crash, you know what pissed me off the most? The shoes. The boring, boring shoes. Seriously! Seriously! Where were the fabulous shoes!!! So bored. So over Judicial Conclaves. So so over.

Gossip

You know you are in a tiny wee bit of trouble when Three, count 'em, THREE Justicars show up in your Domain to have a wee chat about how you're running your Princedom. Prince Kelly of Lehigh Valley (who has shown up in this Gossip Rag of ours more than once) got dragged up in front of three Justicars...ahem, so sorry, asked to discuss just how he was running his Domain. Apparently, my dears, one should not call oneself a UberPrince or Prince above other Princes. Kelly did some elegant verbal tapdancing (he's fierce and independant but not an Independant, capital I) and basically declared that his Princes under him were more Marquis than Princes. It's all about word choices, darling!!  Alls well that ends well... well, save that the three Marquis under Kelly are now under Ordeal. Well. That's got to be fun.

Kelly was also apparently in trouble for being a wee bit too friendly with the Anarchs. Could this be because his true love, an adorable Malkavian by the name of Piscin, is an Anarch? Oh, how utterly delicious -- a Camarilla Prince and an Anarch in a love nest!!!!!! Adorable!

Henry Jones, former Seneschal/Marquis/etc. of Lehigh Valley came to the Conclave to apologize for being such a bad leader and defecting to the Anarchs.  Well, my dear, we can understand if you just can't cut it.

Eddie Carlson, Gangrel former Prince of Buffalo, NY got praxised and blood hunted.  He turned up in PA in a snazzy brown suit looking to get his bloodhunt overturned. Begging is just so gauche, my dear.

That is all for now, my dears.:)  Send us gossip and we will love you forever. :) Or at least until the next big scandal. Watch for our VA issue next week!  Toodles!

Grand Elysium in Columbus

Sweethearts!! We have decided to let you know of our upcoming SECRET issues. That is right, dear ones, for you to get a copy of this issue, you need to be a subscriber! Contact us at (owbngossiprag@gmail.com and acidburn.owbn@gmail.com) and we will let you know what you need to do to subscribe. (First topic, darlings -- Former Archons -- Where Are They Now? Do you know at least one big named Former Archon went Anarch? Well, we do!! Want to know? Well, subscribe now!!)

Now then darlings! We thought we would start you off with some fabulous fashions at Columbus' Grand Elysium this year.  Tho. Ahem. Seriously, to the Midwest Kindred -- darlings, darlings, we are so sorry to tell you this but you are getting truly lapped by the Kindred on the Coasts when it comes to Fashion. While there were some true standouts (Lady Black, we are looking at you), most of the event was ho-hum. We had far more Worst Dressed than Best, my dears. Step it up for next Midwinter, would you?

Best Dressed

 Crash:  The lovely Lady Black from Cincinnati managed to pull off this slinky animal print number that would look trashy on a lesser being.  The sleek short hair cut makes it more urban predator than Jersey Shore.  Well played, madam.

Burn: Foxy Lady! MEOW. Okay, enough with the animal noises. Lady Black looked utterly *divine*.  This truly gorgeous number with the plunging neckline showed off her curves in all the right ways. The Divine Lady Black is honestly too awesome to be called an It Girl. We need a new moniker -- Belle of the Ball. Dear Midwest Toreador, a Malkavian completely and utterly upstaged you. Try harder.

Crash: Gloria Watson, Tremere from Columbus OH rocked the three day theme of Past, Present and Future with a neat twist.  My personal fav was this fantastical dead leaf, feather and animal skull fascinator she wore Saturday night.  She impressed us with her class and style at Midwinter, and has not let us down yet.

Burn:  What was it with fascinators this event? So many Kindred lovelies had a bit of feather or er... rat in their hair. Doctor Sweets from Maryland also had an tres chic fascinator, this one with a spider.




Crash:  This lavender wrap gown with its asymmetrical drapery reminds me a bit of the golden age of the silver screen.  It's simple, elegant, understated and completely amazing.

Burn: This beautiful lady is the epitome of grace. Perfect. Sadly, we missed the name of this delightful Kindred. Help us out, darlings, if you would be so kind.

Crash: Just who is this fabulous lady in red? Inquiring minds want to know! Some jealous Kindred were overheard saying she looked like Jessica Rabbit. Ohio, green is so not your color!

Burn:  "Yeah Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah!!" Look at that hair. Those shoes. That dress! Bliss. Just bliss. Two snaps in Z formation!! Honestly, I could talk about this look for days. I love how the heels matched the dress, exactly, and the curve-hugging dress with the scoop neckline. Well done!












Crash: This Setite was quite dapper in his bright cherry red suit, purple shirt and art deco tie.  Every time we saw him he had a different slice of cutie pie on his arm.  If Joseph Hanover isn't careful, he may lose his title as King of the Playboys.

Burn: I love how the red just pops, but in a bold but not  in a trashy way. Quite the attention getter! His arm candy helps make the look.

Crash:  This sparkly green number with the slit up the side had all the boys staring.  Who is this little mermaid?  We'd like to make her part of OUR world.  Meow.

Burn: Delicious. Utterly delicious. Even her shoes were in the running. A deep jewel green gown, gorgeous vintage hair and the gold jewelry just utterly made this outfit.

Crash:  Silver, a Setite from Hartford, was stunning in Ralph Lauren.  I'm a sucker for simple elegance, and this black gown with its jeweled shoulder adornments is sleek and predatory.

Burn: She looked quite lovely all weekend long. Positively seductive -- but -- what else do you expect from a Setite?












Worst Dressed

Crash:  This outfit is part mad scientist, part bride of Frankenstein, part mummy and maybe a little Angelina Jolie.  Either way, damn.

Burn:  I think she's gotten lost. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is thataway!

Crash:  Is this Michael Jackson circa 1990 going through a punk phase?  I'm a little scared.

Burn:  Wrong decade, Crash. He's clearly stuck in the 1980s. Wow. Just... trainwreck wow.

Crash: Lena!, Brujah Prince of Cedar Rapids, Iowa wore a punk-rock plaid schoolgirl outfit with gawth mesh sleeves and open-toed lace-up "shooties" to match.    It looks like she either made this dress out of old shirts she found at the thrift store, or stole it from some teenage punkling's closet circa 1995.

Burn: Well, I thought she looked adorable. On the other hand, should a Prince of the Camarilla look a fourteen year old? Of course, Elias Beecher wishes he could look 14...








Honorable Mention:

Crash: Unlike certain Brujah princes, Natascia, Nosferatu Seneschal of Hartford actually DID make her dress out of old shirts she found at the thrift store, but this 1880s-inspired "found object" ensemble rocks the casbah.

Burn: Eh. I was kinda meh on this one as she wore it at Midwinter. It fits her well but if she wants to be at the top of the fashion ladder, she's going to need to step it up a bit. Her shoes were functional, rather than pretty.  Beauty is pain, darling!! Get some high heels STAT!



Fashion Trend: Red

 Apparently, red was the color to wear at the event.  We spotted it everywhere.  And we know, darlings, we know, that it is entirely due to the fact we made fun of the baby blue fascinator at the Bay Area's Grand Elysium and our suggestion to wear red. Oh yes, we know, we know.

 Even the Tremere, Hugo Valentine was sporting a red tie, rather than the oh so traditional Tremere Blue. Snaps to Hugo for going with the fashion trend we started. Tres chic!

 Speaking of fashion trends, darlings, we were somewhat disappointed with Sugarti.. Katja Nothing's shoe choices the first two evenings of the Event. Challenge accepted indeed!  Thursday night she wore utilitarian looking boots with a modest heel, and we don't even remember what she wore Friday night.  Though she did make up for it (at least a little) with Saturday night's strappy platform PVC stilettos.





Gossip

My my my, darlings, did you hear about the totally scandalous Toreador auction that Primogen Kyle Butler organized? No, they weren't auctioning off Toreador! They did; however, auction off the Right of Progeny in Columbus, a pint of Fiend Blood, Elder Werewolf blood, a clay T-Rex (that would turn into an ACTUAL T-rex!! Seriously, people!! There is this thing called the Masquerade!) and ... the most scandalous thing of all -- an alligator Zoot Suit. Whomever bought that thing, do not let us catch you wearing it or you will make the Gossip Rag!!!

From the lips of a prominent Brujah Prince, Archon Kate Davidson was apparently working off her community service as an auctioneer.

 In other news, Harry Fisher likes to wear women's underwear. Ahem.

Also, my dears, we heard the most scandalous news -- Larkin Ambrose has a Nosferatu lover!! Oh, it is Romeo and Juliet all over again, two star-crossed lovers whose Families hate each other. Let us hope it doesn't turn out like the play, dear ones.  We also heard that Larkin is *quite* the poker player and won a house full of "favors" at the Texas Hold 'Em game.  Too bad for William Harkness, that dashing Tremere from Maine.  He came in second.

Bunny the Monster Slayer, Nosferatu, diffused tension at the event on Friday when he started an impromptu Nosferatu dance party.  Silver, the Setite got down on the floor with he favorite Nos, as the room was equal parts horrified and amused at Bunny's pelvic thrusting to "I'm Sexy and I know it."

The decorators for the event had draped clan banners at the front of the room.  Prominently displayed in the center was that of Clan Nosferatu flanked by Ventrue and Tremere.  Nosferatu prince and all.  Brujah, most notably was quite a distance from the others.  In fact, it was all the way on the other side of the room.  Ahem.

However, at some point in the evening, perhaps because of Bunny's hot dance moves, the Brujah banner was finally moved back into place next to the others.





That is it for now, my lovelies!! As a reminder, we are everywhere -- and we are judging you. Oh yes, yes we are. We expect MUCH at the upcoming events in the next few months. Please wear something fabulous so that we can write about you. Or... point out your hated enemies worst hair day.

And, as a quick reminder, we have some utterly lovely and totally *scandalous* SECRET issues coming soon!! Contact us to subscribe!!!





(OOC Note -- We loved everyone's costumes! Really. No matter how bitchy we are in character, out of character we adored everyone. Please keep up the great costuming!!)

Letters from Heaven (Columbus, OH)

Darlings, DARLINGS. We have found the best, and I do mean THE BEST gossip!!! Two bits of pure unadulterated gossip fell into our lap tonight. It is to DIE FOR... if we weren't already dead.

One is just so utterly, utterly salacious that we had to omit the names to protect the guilty. 

----------------------
 Letters from Heaven!

[Prince] mon amour,

I will keep this short and sweet... Just like you are my button.

It's been months since I saw you, when we shared a table at the Prince's meeting at the Midwinter gathering, I even dropped you a line to say "hi" wanting to visit. I understand it was just you playing hard to get.

When you're ready to experience cainite love, call me an I'll bend you over proper sometime like a real lady of the night.

In the meantime, enjoy this gift as a token of our love.

Always with love,


[Templar]
---------------------


And now, the icing on the cake:  We heard that Lena! is in love with Paul Walker!!! Can we say Brujah Prince Triangle, darlings?? Can't wait to watch the fireworks.

Seriously, children, is this not the best gossip ever?? Oh, you are right, this gossip is actually the best!!

Look out for updates as we bring you the very best of Grand Elysium.

GE 2012 Promo

Voice Over: As we gear up for GE, we thought we'd treat our fans to a good old fashioned promo.  Crash & Burn have risked life and limb for you, and hit the street to bring you the latest news.
LAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!

WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA, THE CAMARILLA EDITION!!!!!!!


In this Corner, we have Tatiyana "Anya" Pyotrevna, the Blond Wonder, The Prince's Princess!,  The Queen of Hartford. CT.... LAADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- It's ANYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash:  You and Al X used to work so well together.  What happened?

Anya: You make incorrect assumptions in my intentions. We, as a Society, must maintain the laws, even amongst those that we love.

Burn: Woah woah woah. Are you saying that you love Al X? What about Paul? Wow! Panya really was SO six months ago!!!

Anya:  I do not desire for this drama to continue any more than anyone else does.  Yet, if you are challenging me, I may review your offer in another light.


Burn: Wow. UMmmmmmkay! Crash, let's get out of here before we piss her off even more. Moving along. Let's go ask Al X what he thinks about this...



 AND IN THIS CORNER -- the Nosferatu more feared than Shade, more wiley that E. Coyote, the Snitches, LAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN ....  the One, The Only, THE AL X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash:  So, Al X.  Big to-do coming up in Columbus.  How are you feeling?


Al X: (Loud snorting sounds)


Burn:  Oooook.  So you and Anya haven't exactly been BFFs lately.  Do you have anything you want to say to your opponent? 


Al X: I, Al X, have a question...to answer your question. As you, Anya, travel to...GRAND ELYSIUM...by conventional means, the normals you travel with experience malfunctions. As you realize ALL THAT IS LEFT is total self-destruction, do you, ANYA, show self-pity? DO YOU, Anya, try to reason why? Do you, Anya, try and comfort the normals that have even more fear than you?

Or do you, Anya, kick the doors out? Kick the cockpit door down. Take the two pilots that have already made the sacrifice so that you can face the challenge. Dispose of them, Anya. Assume the controls, Anya. SHOVE THAT CONTROL INTO A NOSEDIVE, ANYA! Push yourself to total self-dstruction. As you realize, Anya, you are about to enter a world close to Parts Unknown. Ah, smell it, warriors. Do you, Anya, look for a place to hide? Or do you, Anya, face the challenge that may be more powerful than EVEN YOU ARE, ANYA?!!

You, Anya, must self-destruct so that you will know, Anya, who is...The Chosen One. FOR ANYA, I am not the Chosen One...that you speak of. I am not. I, Al X, am...the only...one...



Okay peeps, there you have it. We're outahere.

Heel, darlings, heel!!

Guess Who at G&G, 2012

My dears, my dears, we have been hearing whispers... yes, whispers of complaints, actually complaints, that we are not covering one of the most important parts of fashion -- shoes!! We are looking at you, Prince SugartitsKatja. :)

Tsk, tsk. Have faith, darlings!!

While we are not the great Manolo -- we are, in fact, planning a shoe issue in the very near future. If you would like your shoes on parade (or, even better a rival's horrible shoe choices), send us photos (because photos of shoes do not break the masquerade) to the addresses given.  The voting will take place in November after the last major event of the season.

Kisses!!!

California Dreaming

Hello darlings! Did you miss us? Of course you did. We know it. We know you love and miss us and wait for each report with bated breath. If we actually breathed, we mean.

We were bound for California last month, where we dug up some delightful rumors and fashion for the event of the West Coast Season -- the Grand Elysium of the Bay Area.  Here's some of the best and worst fashions (because we know how much we love looking at ourselves) and some of the best salcious gossip we could fine (because we know how much we love talking about ourselves!)
Best Dressed

Crash: Virgil Deems, Ventrue Prince of SanFrancisco and the lovely Isabella Visconti, Toreador Harpy of San Francisco, cut quite the image.  Ever the understated gentleman, Prince Deems demonstrates how it's done.


Burn: So stern, our Ventrue Prince here. I wonder what could melt such a tough demeanor. :) Read on, children, read on.

Crash:  Grrrrrow.  Archon Alecto.  Just enough sparkle to be interesting.  Was that outfit designed by Neil Gaiman?  Take us to San Fran Below.


Burn: //Oh send me an Angel...//  Oh, what can I say, Crash, this outfit makes me want to sing.  The make-up, the hair, the mask, the dress, the jewelry. The lips. The lips!!!  The whole package. Listen up, children, this is how it is done!!  I proclaim Archon Alecto The It Girl of the Bay Area.  I think she may have even pushed out Hara Masako and Rachel Durbhan out of the spotlight.

Crash: Very theatrical, but there's a reason the masquerade look is a classic.  Purple, gold, ornate feathers, and a regal carriage, Jenny Valentine, Toreador, was a truly striking figure.

Burn: If it were any other Toreador (or Kindred for that matter) I would be giving this look utter snaps -- but it's Jenny Valentine!!! Far too pretty go cover up! Especially those legs. :) Seriously, Jenny, after Midwinter and Glitter and Gloom where you were such a standout, the bar is simply very high for you.

Crash: Toreador from LA.  I'm a sucker for vintage, and the cat-eye glasses make the look on this quirky, classy dame from the City of Angels.

Burn: I love the color, the cut, the sexy nerd glasses.  Double snaps!

Crash: William Stanford, Ventrue Primogen of San Francisco looks a lot like a certain British royal.

Burn: Sexy, sexy William!!! Meow!!

Worst Dressed

Crash: "It's the eye of the tiger..." Rajelio, Brujah of Berkeley should be fined for that shirt.


Burn: Hey Rajelio -- the 80s are calling. They want their shirt back. Cobra Kai also wants his headband back.

Crash: Hmm... big Elysium coming up.  What to wear, what to wear?  If you're Joe Barclay, Gangrel, the answer is "I know!  I'll wear my puke green flight suit!  With ski goggles!"   What electrical misfiring occurs in your brain?  Seriously, WTF.

Burn:  I love the BlueSteel(tm) look tho!!!

Crash:  Shadow Rage Phoenix, Brujah, Sacramento: A- for the black corset with the sparkles at the throat and the oh-so-elegant taste of decolletage, but D+ for the Little Mermaid-inspired sailcloth monstrosity with the sparkly silver fish net thing tied around the waist.  Final grade: C+. Study hard!

Burn: Crash, Crash!!! WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO ME?? Why! First, you give me this vision of loveliness and then you take it all away!! Do you hate me so, Crash?? Do you???

Crash: Call me old fashioned, but I can't say I'm a fan of the underbust corset/nightgown look for formal evening wear.  I hope this doesn't make its way east.  I will say, however, that even this train wreck puts Milwaukee to shame.

Burn: Pshaw, Crash! Go back and check out our Midwinter edition! They were far more awful than this. :)  (Seriously, darlings. Go back and check it out.)

Now to our lovely Kindred in this photo -- Darling, darling, darling, baby blue hair flowers -- so not saying "I am an undead creature of the night."  You need to wear a deep, dark, red, darling, and lots of it.



The Juice

Roasters and Roastee

The Roast:  Shanghai Kelly, Gangrel, Archon, Mouth of the South,  the Camarilla's very own Snake Plissken, felt the heat during his very own Roast this year at the Bay Area Grand Elysium. Roasters included Prince Virgil Deems, Prince Kathrin Braddock, Prince Marcus Jovan, Jack Sebastien, Heather of New Haven, and Joe Barclay.

The Roasters and the Roastee had a lovely time tearing into each other in front of an audience, with all most everyone mentioning Prince Braddock's love of.. umm.. snow.. yes, that's it. snow. Overall, I would have to say my favorite part was "Shit Shanghai says": which included such comments as: "Every time you try to decifer the politics of Florida, God Kills a Kitten!"  and "Camarilla Setites are like Jews for Jesus! I am laughing so hard, I am blowing Aegis. " Oh Shanghai. Never change.

It seems that one of our Perennial Favorites, Prince Katja Nothing, made the gossip rag again!! The Childe of Harpy Isabella Visconti, Mallory Jones, apparently decided that she *needed* to give Princess Katja a motorboating! Scaaaaaaaaandalous!!! And Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!!! Have you seen Katja's bosoms?? To die for! If we weren't already dead!! Too bad for Katja's plaything, Jack Sebastien,  he was left out of the fun!!  (Seriously, people, what do we think of the name Jackja?  Adorable, isn't it??? They were so adorable all weekend long!) We officially name them the NEW BRUJAH POWERCOUPLE OF THE YEAR. Panya is so last Tuesday. So.. so last Tuesday. We hear Anya's beyond upset about this pronouncement and that's why she went insane in her own domain two weeks ago, over pure jealousy of Katja. Oops, inside voice!! Innnnnnnnside voice!!


In other, horribly, terribly, scandalous news -- omg, the debacle that Diana Mahghoul, Toreador, caused! First, Ms. Mahghoul did not RSVP -- on purpose!! Tsk, tsk, tsk. I know we are undead but manners, people! Manners! You are a Toreador, we expect better!  Then Ms. Mahghoul had the audacity to act offended that the harpies chastised her it. Tsk, tsk, tsk, strike two Diana. Do you think she will go for strike three? Oh yes, yes she did!  She told another Kindred to lie and call herself a Caitiff, to get around Prince Deems and the harpies of Berkeley. And then (why, yes, apparently, we give four strikes out in the Camarilla... silly princes) she scheduled another performance, in San Francisco, during Prince Deems' own performance!! Silly Toreador! Seriously, do you not teach them any better.  Perhaps she can take lessons from the oh so perfect Jenny Valentine.  Maybe we should have a Miss Manner's Guide to Being Undead. :)


Speaking of Prince Deems (who is going to have to fight William Stanford for Prettiest, just what is it about the Ventrue men of the Bay Area, hmmmm?), we were able to witness him heading out of the Gathering the last evening with his lovely Harpy Isabella Visconti -- and kiss her passionately. Virgil and Bella sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  It is just so sweet it makes your teeth itch. Virgil Deems, the Ventrue Prince Charming, in love with his paramour, the lovely Harpy of San Francisco. So in love! So shocking that a Ventrue can love something other than money!  I can see the Bravo TV series in my head right now. :)

More coming soon, children. And as a reminder, we love to work with contractors! Got any truly salacious gossip? Send it our way! You know what our grandmothers' said, darlings, if you do not have anything nice to say -- sit right next to us.

(OOC NOTE: We OOCly love your costumes! Really, no hard feelings! :) Just take this in OOC stride (but feel free to be pissed IC) and know that we think you are fabulous in Real Life. Also feel free to contact us about anything at owbngossiprag@gmail.com or acidburn.owbn@gmail.com)