Hello darlings! Did you miss us? Of course you did. We know it. We know you love and miss us and wait for each report with bated breath. If we actually breathed, we mean.
We were bound for California last month, where we dug up some delightful rumors and fashion for the event of the West Coast Season -- the Grand Elysium of the Bay Area. Here's some of the best and worst fashions (because we know how much we love looking at ourselves) and some of the best salcious gossip we could fine (because we know how much we love talking about ourselves!)
Best Dressed
Crash: Virgil Deems, Ventrue Prince of SanFrancisco and the lovely Isabella Visconti, Toreador Harpy of San Francisco, cut quite the image. Ever the understated gentleman, Prince Deems demonstrates how it's done.
Burn: So stern, our Ventrue Prince here. I wonder what could melt such a tough demeanor. :) Read on, children, read on.
Crash: Grrrrrow. Archon Alecto. Just enough sparkle to be interesting. Was that outfit designed by Neil Gaiman? Take us to San Fran Below.
Burn: //Oh send me an Angel...// Oh, what can I say, Crash, this outfit makes me want to sing. The make-up, the hair, the mask, the dress, the jewelry. The lips. The lips!!! The whole package. Listen up, children, this is how it is done!! I proclaim Archon Alecto The It Girl of the Bay Area. I think she may have even pushed out Hara Masako and Rachel Durbhan out of the spotlight.
Crash: Very theatrical, but there's a reason the masquerade look is a classic. Purple, gold, ornate feathers, and a regal carriage,
Jenny Valentine, Toreador, was a truly striking figure.
Burn: If it were any other Toreador (or Kindred for that matter) I would be giving this look utter snaps -- but it's Jenny Valentine!!! Far too pretty go cover up! Especially those legs. :) Seriously, Jenny, after Midwinter and Glitter and Gloom where you were such a standout, the bar is simply very high for you.
Crash: Toreador from LA. I'm a sucker for vintage, and the cat-eye glasses make the look on this quirky, classy dame from the City of Angels.
Burn: I love the color, the cut, the sexy nerd glasses. Double snaps!
Crash: William Stanford, Ventrue Primogen of San Francisco looks a lot like a certain British royal.
Burn: Sexy, sexy William!!! Meow!!
Worst Dressed
Crash: "It's the eye of the tiger..." Rajelio, Brujah of Berkeley should be fined for that shirt.
Burn: Hey Rajelio -- the 80s are calling. They want their shirt back. Cobra Kai also wants his headband back.
Crash: Hmm... big Elysium coming up. What to wear, what to wear? If you're
Joe Barclay, Gangrel, the answer is "I know! I'll wear my puke green flight suit! With ski goggles!" What electrical misfiring occurs in your brain? Seriously, WTF.
Burn: I love the BlueSteel(tm) look tho!!!
Crash:
Shadow Rage Phoenix, Brujah, Sacramento
: A- for the black corset with the sparkles at the throat and the oh-so-elegant taste of decolletage, but D+ for the Little Mermaid-inspired sailcloth monstrosity with the sparkly silver fish net thing tied around the waist. Final grade: C+. Study hard!
Burn: Crash, Crash!!! WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO ME?? Why! First, you give me this vision of loveliness and then you take it all away!! Do you hate me so, Crash?? Do you???
Crash: Call me old fashioned, but I can't say I'm a fan of the underbust corset/nightgown look for formal evening wear. I hope this doesn't make its way east. I will say, however, that even this train wreck puts Milwaukee to shame.
Burn: Pshaw, Crash! Go back and check out our Midwinter edition! They were far more awful than this. :) (Seriously, darlings. Go back and check it out.)
Now to our lovely Kindred in this photo -- Darling, darling, darling, baby blue hair flowers -- so not saying "I am an undead creature of the night." You need to wear a deep, dark, red, darling, and lots of it.
The Juice
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| Roasters and Roastee |
The Roast:
Shanghai Kelly, Gangrel, Archon, Mouth of the South, the Camarilla's very own Snake Plissken, felt the heat during his very own Roast this year at the Bay Area Grand Elysium. Roasters included
Prince Virgil Deems, Prince Kathrin Braddock, Prince Marcus Jovan, Jack Sebastien, Heather of New Haven, and Joe Barclay.
The Roasters and the Roastee had a lovely time tearing into each other in front of an audience, with all most everyone mentioning Prince Braddock's love of.. umm.. snow.. yes, that's it. snow. Overall, I would have to say my favorite part was "Shit Shanghai says": which included such comments as: "Every time you try to decifer the politics of Florida, God Kills a Kitten!" and "Camarilla Setites are like Jews for Jesus! I am laughing so hard, I am blowing Aegis. " Oh Shanghai. Never change.
It seems that one of our Perennial Favorites,
Prince Katja Nothing, made the gossip rag again!! The Childe of Harpy Isabella Visconti,
Mallory Jones, apparently decided that she *needed* to give Princess Katja a motorboating! Scaaaaaaaaandalous!!! And Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!!! Have you seen Katja's bosoms?? To die for! If we weren't already dead!! Too bad for Katja's plaything,
Jack Sebastien, he was left out of the fun!! (Seriously, people, what do we think of the name
Jackja? Adorable, isn't it??? They were so adorable all weekend long!) We officially name them the NEW BRUJAH POWERCOUPLE OF THE YEAR.
Panya is so last Tuesday. So.. so last Tuesday. We hear Anya's beyond upset about this pronouncement and that's why she went insane in her own domain two weeks ago, over pure jealousy of Katja. Oops, inside voice!! Innnnnnnnside voice!!
In other, horribly, terribly, scandalous news -- omg, the debacle that
Diana Mahghoul, Toreador, caused! First, Ms. Mahghoul did not RSVP -- on purpose!! Tsk, tsk, tsk. I know we are undead but manners, people! Manners! You are a Toreador, we expect better!
Then Ms. Mahghoul had the audacity to act offended that the harpies chastised her it. Tsk, tsk, tsk, strike two Diana. Do you think she will go for strike three? Oh yes, yes she did! She told another Kindred to lie and call herself a Caitiff, to get around Prince Deems and the harpies of Berkeley. And then (why, yes, apparently, we give four strikes out in the Camarilla... silly princes) she scheduled another performance, in San Francisco, during Prince Deems' own performance!! Silly Toreador! Seriously, do you not teach them any better. Perhaps she can take lessons from the oh so perfect
Jenny Valentine. Maybe we should have a Miss Manner's Guide to Being Undead. :)
Speaking of
Prince Deems (who is going to have to fight
William Stanford for Prettiest, just what is it about the Ventrue men of the Bay Area, hmmmm?), we were able to witness him heading out of the Gathering the last evening with his lovely Harpy Isabella Visconti -- and kiss her passionately. Virgil and Bella sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. It is just so sweet it makes your teeth itch. Virgil Deems, the Ventrue Prince Charming, in love with his paramour, the lovely Harpy of San Francisco. So in love! So shocking that a Ventrue can love something other than money! I can see the Bravo TV series in my head right now. :)
More coming soon, children. And as a reminder, we love to work with contractors! Got any truly salacious gossip? Send it our way! You know what our grandmothers' said, darlings, if you do not have anything nice to say -- sit right next to us.
(OOC NOTE: We OOCly love your costumes! Really, no hard feelings! :) Just take this in OOC stride (but feel free to be pissed IC) and know that we think you are fabulous in Real Life. Also feel free to contact us about anything at
owbngossiprag@gmail.com or
acidburn.owbn@gmail.com)
