Great Balls of Fire: Atlanta 2012

Sweethearts! We know, we know. We have been very, very naughty! We have left you, bereft, of our quips and bon mots, and we know you were waiting on baited breath for our Atlanta edition.

Very naughty. Perhaps we should be spanked. Woo! Oh, Prince McMillian... ahem. Best we not even *hint* at something so naughty, as it could possibly make Katherine Morgan a wee bit jealous.

Well, my petite chous (that's little cabbage in French, for those Gangrel reading this.. ahem..) we ran off to L.A. for Fashion Week (dresses and parties to die for!!) and by the time we got back, hurricane! And not the tasty beverage kind! (Not that we could drink that. Give us the red stuff!)

No children, we are talking about twelve feet of water in our basement and we are still without power. And yet -- somehow, darlings, we were able to pull together this issue. We are back and better than ever! Nevermind the Bullocks, Here's Crash and Burn: Atlanta 2012!!


Darlings, Darlings. Oh. Atlanta. Dear ones. Please. You must seriously learn to dress.


Worst Dressed

Crash:  Katherine Morgan, Gangrel Primogen of Middle Georgia, is a belly dancer gone horribly, horribly wrong in this red velvet and fishnet number with the weird little red fascinator.  This outfit does absolutely nothing for you.

Burn: *inhales deeply* Oh my god, this is SUCH a train wreck I need popcorn! Did a cat attack a seagull and in the process destroy a macrame' dreamcatcher?? Oh honey, there you go, letting your freak flag fly. Bless your heart.

 Crash:   Sybil Chandler-Blanchett, Tremere, or "Eyepatch Girl", as we have taken to calling her, was such a train wreck, she made the list twice.  We weren't sure which of her Pirate/Rocky Horror/saloon-girl/supervillain outfits (with matching eyepatches) was the worst.  The white high-collared wedding gown kind of reminds me of Beetlejuice.

Burn: Crash is just jealous of the fabulousness of the Eyepatch! You go, Eyepatch Girlfriend! Obviously, Davy Blanchett, the Toreador you married that weekend thinks you're fabulous too. Though, really, a Toreador-Tremere marriage? Oh yeah, that's going to end well. /eyeroll.

 Crash:  This one seems to be taking fashion cues from Archon Caia Wickham.  Seriously.  Of all the people on God's Green Earth to take fashion tips from, you choose Archon Wickham?  At least she could have copied the Archon's sweet green leather trench coat while she was at it.

Burn: Chiton, the Nosferatu Scourge of Savannah! What is it with Nos and hats? This looks rather Julian Lennon meets Claire Danes. I do love the little glare she's giving, I must say; however, Crash is right --   please quit letting Archon Wickham be your fashion stylist.

 Crash:   A real class act with the red bra sticking out of the corset.  Pleather pants and stripper boots really just complete the ensemble.  What's the statement here?

Burn: That statement is "I'm Brujah, I can do what I want!" Oh, my dear, my dear, you really can't.

 Crash:   Anarch couple!! She is way-too-cute for him.  Whereas this hillbilly apparently didn't get the message about the dress code.  I know it's the south and everything, but grown men wear long pants and sleeves to formal events.  She's cute though.

Burn: I am adoring the little blue faux-hawk she has rocking here. Tres adorable! Yes you're fierce. So fierce! Yes, you are! Oh yes, you are! Good Anarch! Gooooood Anarch! And oh yes, Hillbilly Anarch Boyfriend, get some shoes. We are vampires, not hobbits. Please.

Crash:  Jane Larabie, Child of Haqim, corporate and cold, with a winning smile, this CoH really fell flat here with this stunningly unflattering black bureaucrat's uniform.

Burn: All I am going to say is accessories!! A sparkly necklace, some rings, or maybe a rose in the lapel would have added wonders to this outfit. Seriously, my dear, you are at a party! Let your hair down!  She's  really Ventrue, isn't she? Someone let us know.

Crash: And here modeling formal eveningwear from the Great White North, we have Tony Maietta, Brujah Primogen from Portland, ME in his signature orange puffy vest.  We're pretty sure he stores moose meat in the front pockets of that thing.  Stay classy, Tony.  Never change.

Burn: I can't compete with moose meat.








Best Dressed

 Crash:  Archon Douma Charoum, Tremere,  looking dapper and professorial in a sharp tan suit.  This guy obviously knows what he's doing.  Balck in Atlanta in September just doesn't seem fitting, but this man has the whole Southern-Gentleman thing down.

Burn: Dear Archon Charoum, can you please, pretty please with sugar on top, give your Clanmate and fellow Archon Caia Wickham some tips on dressing? You look smashing and professional, with a lovely briefcase, rather than a fannypack. Ahem.

Crash:  I may be slightly in love with Lilyanna Salvatore, Toreador, Seneschal of Middle Georgia. The asymmetrical sheer pleating on this dress adds interest to a classic.  And those shoes are some of the best we have seen all year.  A+.

Burn: The hair, the necklace, the dress... the SHOES. Perfect, perfect package, my dear! Two snaps in Z formation!! What I can not fathom is how Faulkner could stand her up, twice, my dears. TWICE. More in the gossip section, my sweets.

 Crash:  Ever the belle of the ball.  Rachel, you had us in Baltimore.  No one rocks a corset and 1860s inspired skirt like you do.  The fascinator with the white rose in your honey colored hair and the silvery hues of this ensemble are hard not to notice.

Burn: I am seriously considering turning this magazine into the "The All Rachel, All the Time" zine!  Not that I am a stalker.. Ahem. I love this woman's sense of fashion! Totes! Even for the obvious "informal night" (which every event this year has had, seriously, peeps, originality much), she is rocking a gorgeous purple number, with a lovely gold bracelet on her arm. Perfection.  Formal night with the black and silver dress and corset with the gloves and matching fascinator for the hair? Swoon. I swoon.

Crash:  I love a well-dressed gentleman, and this one makes me think I better watch myself at the Blackjack table.  Red tie and pocket square, pale fedora and warm toned silk vest for the win.

Burn: Donald Tennent, Tremere. Seriously, when did the Tremere learn to be so dashing! They are most definitely giving the Toreador a run for their money! Separarely, the elements of this outfit are nice, just nice. However, together, they completely compliment each other and bring together this lovely outfit. Hats off, good sir! Hat's off!









Gossip

It is with regret that we report that Party Person and Host with the Most  Niko Athanasius was killed in Atlanta.  Sad Panda. That boy had some style. Not sure what that style was, mind you, but he had it. He also set up Davy Blanchett's Bachelor Party, as some shiftless ne'er-do-wells (Simon Random ahem) procrastinated and "forgot" to throw the party. Niko took over and woo! What a party was had! It even made CNN!! (ooohboy.)  Simon Random, sadly, is no Shanghai Kelly.  He also apparently  "forgot" to hold a poker tournament he had announced.


Did you hear that Lilyanna Salvatore was stood up by her own prince -- TWICE? For shame, Prince Faulkner! Did you see how beautiful that woman is? And those legs!? It is no wonder that Scott Daine, Ventrue, stole your date. We saw those two dancing the night away and oh my, sparks flew!  PS. Prince Faulkner, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ahem.

Last but not least, my dears, my dears, the lovely wedding that was held between Davy Blanchett and Sybil Chandler - we are so very sorry to say that we heard that it is in name only and for political reasons. WHY anyone would marry as a Kindred is beyond us, children (Sugartits, Katja, dear, perhaps you could explain?) but to not dance with your wife at your wedding until the very end? Tacky. Mr. Blanchett, don't you worry though, I am sure she won't light you on fire... oh wait... she's a Tremere? Nevermind.

See you soon!! Dress your best!
Kisses!
Crash and Burn

PS. Prince McMillian -- we have been very, very naughty. Ahem.  (For details, consider a subscription to the premium content.)

OOC:  Well done, everyone.  Even when we rip into you, we still think the costuming efforts are commendable.  Keep it up!

Annapolis - and our newest reporter - Smoke!

 Darlings, darlings!

As we have mentioned, we are *always interested* in working with me talent! (Well... new is a relative term for Kindred, of course!) Please welcome our new cub reporter, Smoke Monster, aka Smoke, who has traveled to Annapolis and given us a lovely report on Annapolis, along with some fabulous sketches of the evening!


 Annapolis, Early October 2012 - 

Smoke: Rook and Harrow look quite serious during their meeting, don't they?  It does sound as though the Domain faces some serious threats.  Why was Primogen Eli dressed like a Gangrel at Formal Court?   Not even the Gangrel were dressed like Gangrel this evening!  And speaking of Eli of Clan Tremere, he was one of numerous citizens to change offices ... quite a handful between Washington, DC Thursday night and Annapolis on Saturday.  And both Domains seem to be opting for a retro trend, as Prince Rook declared Eli, while nominally a Primogen, would in spirit be acting as a "Vizier" -- this, on the heels of Prince Dervish naming Bruce MacGregor "Hound" rather than "Sheriff" two nights before. 

Smoke:  If your Domain is facing serious business, at least face it in style!  Seneschal Harrow fully redeems herself for the Hawaiian Nonclave faux pas with this lovely layered look in at least fifty shades of grey.  Prince Rook came close to redemption with his rich, intricately  embroidered jacket, but falls short due to a "mom jeans" issue.  Are those Vidal Sassoon?  You've got the body for the low-rise skinny jeans that are all the rage these nights, Prince Rook -- time to rock a pair!  Mom jeans on a man as svelte as yourself is quite nearly a Masquerade breach. 


Burn: Total agreement with Smoke here. Ditch the mom jeans and show the world the sexy pants that you are!







Smoke:  Prince Rook and Keeper Zoe Moreau of Scranton, Clan Toreador.  They look quite beautiful and menacing at the same time, dappled in shadow, don't they?  Here one gets the full effect of the ornate silver buttons accentuating Rook's jacket, and Zoe maintains her sexy librarian vibe.  I don't know about you, but I'd keep my voice to a whisper in HER library.

 
Burn: WOAH. Look at that smoking hot look that Vinny Velario is giving Zoe! I think these pages are actually starting to smolder!

Smoke: Zoe and Vincent Velario, Clan Toreador, share a pensive moment together; and then show a bit of merriment.  This drawing shows how Zoe's moss-green jacket really "popped," smartly decorated with gold buttons and accessorized with a tasteful pearl necklace.  The simplicity of her black skirt and white blouse allowed the jacket to truly shine -- thank you, Zoe, for knowing that the key to fashion is often accentuating that one magnificent piece, rather than wearing numerous pieces that compete with one another.  Vincent here doesn't look quite as regal in mostly black as he did all in white some time ago, but then again, he has about one-third the adjectives he used to, so perhaps "somber" is called for.  Still, like Zoe's moss, the plum shirt picking up the plum accents in the tie were very autumn-appropriate.  Thank you, Clan Toreador, for matching the seasons so smartly.

Smoke: Zoe again -- here her moss-green jacket is contrasted with the other most-talked-about fashion item of the evening:  the striking sapphire mask worn by Mr. Black, more commonly known as C.H.U.D., of Clan Nosferatu.  For this formal occasion, C.H.U.D. swapped his usual silver mask for this gem-toned beauty.  A most fitting upgrade for a night upon which C.H.U.D. was one of several citizens awarded standing by Prince Rook.  Interestingly, both C.H.U.D. and John Grim of Clan Setite received status this evening, a mere six weeks after both received status at Nonclave.  Harpies, take note: Six weeks is apparently the new grace period for status.  Who knew?










Smoke: From left to right:  Cheshire of Clan Malkavian, Chernobyl of Clan Brujah, and C.H.U.D.  Three of the members of the unfortunately named "Shadow Company," a crew who've recently put down roots in Annapolis, are clearly enjoying the festivities.  Cheshire, we adore you, but please leave the sexy librarian look to Zoe.  Chernobyl, on the other hand, is all dapper Texas oilman -- this smart ensemble, complete with oversized sunglasses and a watch that screams "new money," recalls the glory days of J.R. Ewing.  One suspects Chernobyl might indeed have been the Soviet Union's answer to Dallas's most infamous oil baron.  And doesn't C.H.U.D. look happy to be partying with his homies -- look at that smile! 

  

Smoke: A closer look at Chernobyl and his Ray-Bans.  The 80s called and they are jealous that you're pulling off this look in 2012.

Burn: That is a great hat. Sexy!









Smoke:  Michael of Clan Gangrel giving the Vienna sausage -- oh wait, is that his finger? -- in insult to an unknown party.  I guess it wouldn't be a party if some Gangrel didn't generate a bird.  One necklace would be fine here, but the second necklace we're not so sure about.  It looks like something that may have washed up on the beach while the Brady Bunch were in Hawaii.  Let's hope it's not cursed! 












Smoke: Newly-appointed Seneschal Greggor of Washington, DC, Clan Nosferatu.  Greggor, we dig the newsboy cap for a Clan renowned for its abilities where information is concerned, and your own outfit was quite dapper.  But seriously, your undeveloped twin needs a baby makeover!  Perhaps some jeggings for the wee one, or at least a more autumn-appropriate diaper cover?

Burn: Way to let your freak flag fly there, Greggor! (OMG!)

Smoke: Hannah Martin, Clan Gangrel, and Khamael of the Sefirot, Clan Toreador, who were on this night appointed Sheriff and Scourge of Annapolis, respectively.  Hannah, why the long face?  Is your fight form a dappled mare?  Or are you perhaps some mortal relation to Sarah Jessica Parker?  Oh wait, we know -- you were just named Sheriff!  Congratulations?  As for Khamael, we have our suspicions as to why he looks so glum.  Prince Dervish of Washington, DC was present, and quite offended to learn one of his residents had accepted an Officer position in Annapolis without so much as a post-it note of notification to anyone in DC.  Particularly scandalous, given that David Paul Barrington of Clan Ventrue was stripped of standing earlier this year for moving ... from Annapolis to DC .... without notifying Prince Rook or the Annapolis Primogen Council first.  We hope those aren't shoulder pads in your jacket, Khamael.  Those are so "early 90s businesswoman."  Might we recommend a tailor for that jacket?


Burn: All I know is that Hannah Martin has some fabulous hair going on there and some utterly lovely earnings. Snaps!

Smoke: Ambrosio Valez de Leon of Baltimore, and Fiona MacGregor of Philadelphia, both of Clan Brjuah.  The fashionable Brujah were out in force this evening -- Ambrosio's tie with its splash of bronze for fall smartly stood out from a well-fitting black coat, shirt and pants (Prince Rook and Scourge Khamael, perhaps there's a tailor in Baltimore to help you?).  And Fiona's shimmering, iridescent blue dress was breathtaking -- and the mini-cape!  Even among the many sartorially gifted Brujah present this evening, Fiona was a standout.  Note the understated sparkles of the diamonds in her ring and on the straps of her dress -- I heartily approve this outfit.  Ambrosio was overheard explaining a choice bit of gossip from Baltimore -- it seems that when Prince Rommel ascended to the throne there not long ago, a vacancy was created in the Harpy position when Harlan Miles was named Seneschal, and soon thereafter the Primogen Council of Baltimore opened the Harpy position for auditions!  I even overheard that it had been suggested a competition take place, in which Seneschal Miles and the Harpies of Annapolis and DC would serve as guest judges and mentors, complete with large, rotating chairs, lights and music ... something of a Kindred reality show to create some buzz and allow the new Harpy of Baltimore to claim the position with considerable fanfare.  Unfortunately, Ambrosio has withdrawn his name from the Harpy race, leaving only two competitors, and it sounds as though the ambitious "reality competition" may not come to pass.  I do hope the citizens clamor for it and that a third competitor emerges, as I'd cover that event like a Kardashian on a pro basketball player. 

Smoke: Vincent, please ask Ambrosio to fix your shirt and tie!  And quit pouting.

Burn: Obviously, he needs to back to flirting with dear Zoe. Oh, those two are smoking hot together!!! Obviously, she will help Vinny getting over his "I gave up my Praxis to Lucas Morgan" blues! 

 
Smoke: Princess Giovanni, Doña of Maine, dropped by for a visit and rocked the evening's most ambitious shoes, an open-toed sparkly spiked heeled wonder in pink.  And with that tiara, she looked every inch the princess.  I was struck with the urge for some Bubblicious, but the urge soon passed.  Her shoes caught not only this reporter's eye, however ... Prince Dervish got into a bit of a verbal sparring match with Princess, passions were stirred, and (15) rumor has it they "made up" in the back of a limo later that evening!  Way to celebrate your new Praxis, Prince Dervish!  I'm still trying to come up with the winning euphemism here:  "Renewing the Promise," or perhaps "Making the wraiths blush?"  We're not sure what that article of clothing is under your jacket, Prince Dervish -- mock turtleneck with zipper? -- but we're quite sure you have the standing now to pull it off.  Speaking of Washington, DC, in addition to their limousine conquests, they made quite the show of solidarity -- two nights after Prince Dervish's ascension to the throne, all their officers save the Keeper were present for Prince Rook's Formal Court.  We hear Prince Dervish might be setting up a much sought-after and rare tour of the Smithsonian Museum Elysiums for DC Officers and Primogen, each of whom may invite one lucky guest!  And finally, we overheard that while Prince Dervish is much more prudent than his predecessor when it comes to possibly premature proclamations of people passing, the previous Prince is purported to be quite irretrievably dead.



Burn: Her name is PRINCESS??? Hahahaha. Oh. How lovely for a Giovanni!! Lovely shoes tho! Snaps!


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Well, my darlings, there you have it -- our first report from Cub Reporter Smoke. Do let us know if you liked it! (Hate mail, of course, will go in the circular file! And darlings, if you do not know what that is, ask your ghouls to tell you!) Again, as a reminder, if you are interested in reporting for Crash and Burn or have any great tips for Burn Notice, just sent us a note!

Kisses!
Crash and Burn
with our new reporter, Smoke!