Grand Elysium in Columbus

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Now then darlings! We thought we would start you off with some fabulous fashions at Columbus' Grand Elysium this year.  Tho. Ahem. Seriously, to the Midwest Kindred -- darlings, darlings, we are so sorry to tell you this but you are getting truly lapped by the Kindred on the Coasts when it comes to Fashion. While there were some true standouts (Lady Black, we are looking at you), most of the event was ho-hum. We had far more Worst Dressed than Best, my dears. Step it up for next Midwinter, would you?

Best Dressed

 Crash:  The lovely Lady Black from Cincinnati managed to pull off this slinky animal print number that would look trashy on a lesser being.  The sleek short hair cut makes it more urban predator than Jersey Shore.  Well played, madam.

Burn: Foxy Lady! MEOW. Okay, enough with the animal noises. Lady Black looked utterly *divine*.  This truly gorgeous number with the plunging neckline showed off her curves in all the right ways. The Divine Lady Black is honestly too awesome to be called an It Girl. We need a new moniker -- Belle of the Ball. Dear Midwest Toreador, a Malkavian completely and utterly upstaged you. Try harder.

Crash: Gloria Watson, Tremere from Columbus OH rocked the three day theme of Past, Present and Future with a neat twist.  My personal fav was this fantastical dead leaf, feather and animal skull fascinator she wore Saturday night.  She impressed us with her class and style at Midwinter, and has not let us down yet.

Burn:  What was it with fascinators this event? So many Kindred lovelies had a bit of feather or er... rat in their hair. Doctor Sweets from Maryland also had an tres chic fascinator, this one with a spider.




Crash:  This lavender wrap gown with its asymmetrical drapery reminds me a bit of the golden age of the silver screen.  It's simple, elegant, understated and completely amazing.

Burn: This beautiful lady is the epitome of grace. Perfect. Sadly, we missed the name of this delightful Kindred. Help us out, darlings, if you would be so kind.

Crash: Just who is this fabulous lady in red? Inquiring minds want to know! Some jealous Kindred were overheard saying she looked like Jessica Rabbit. Ohio, green is so not your color!

Burn:  "Yeah Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah!!" Look at that hair. Those shoes. That dress! Bliss. Just bliss. Two snaps in Z formation!! Honestly, I could talk about this look for days. I love how the heels matched the dress, exactly, and the curve-hugging dress with the scoop neckline. Well done!












Crash: This Setite was quite dapper in his bright cherry red suit, purple shirt and art deco tie.  Every time we saw him he had a different slice of cutie pie on his arm.  If Joseph Hanover isn't careful, he may lose his title as King of the Playboys.

Burn: I love how the red just pops, but in a bold but not  in a trashy way. Quite the attention getter! His arm candy helps make the look.

Crash:  This sparkly green number with the slit up the side had all the boys staring.  Who is this little mermaid?  We'd like to make her part of OUR world.  Meow.

Burn: Delicious. Utterly delicious. Even her shoes were in the running. A deep jewel green gown, gorgeous vintage hair and the gold jewelry just utterly made this outfit.

Crash:  Silver, a Setite from Hartford, was stunning in Ralph Lauren.  I'm a sucker for simple elegance, and this black gown with its jeweled shoulder adornments is sleek and predatory.

Burn: She looked quite lovely all weekend long. Positively seductive -- but -- what else do you expect from a Setite?












Worst Dressed

Crash:  This outfit is part mad scientist, part bride of Frankenstein, part mummy and maybe a little Angelina Jolie.  Either way, damn.

Burn:  I think she's gotten lost. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is thataway!

Crash:  Is this Michael Jackson circa 1990 going through a punk phase?  I'm a little scared.

Burn:  Wrong decade, Crash. He's clearly stuck in the 1980s. Wow. Just... trainwreck wow.

Crash: Lena!, Brujah Prince of Cedar Rapids, Iowa wore a punk-rock plaid schoolgirl outfit with gawth mesh sleeves and open-toed lace-up "shooties" to match.    It looks like she either made this dress out of old shirts she found at the thrift store, or stole it from some teenage punkling's closet circa 1995.

Burn: Well, I thought she looked adorable. On the other hand, should a Prince of the Camarilla look a fourteen year old? Of course, Elias Beecher wishes he could look 14...








Honorable Mention:

Crash: Unlike certain Brujah princes, Natascia, Nosferatu Seneschal of Hartford actually DID make her dress out of old shirts she found at the thrift store, but this 1880s-inspired "found object" ensemble rocks the casbah.

Burn: Eh. I was kinda meh on this one as she wore it at Midwinter. It fits her well but if she wants to be at the top of the fashion ladder, she's going to need to step it up a bit. Her shoes were functional, rather than pretty.  Beauty is pain, darling!! Get some high heels STAT!



Fashion Trend: Red

 Apparently, red was the color to wear at the event.  We spotted it everywhere.  And we know, darlings, we know, that it is entirely due to the fact we made fun of the baby blue fascinator at the Bay Area's Grand Elysium and our suggestion to wear red. Oh yes, we know, we know.

 Even the Tremere, Hugo Valentine was sporting a red tie, rather than the oh so traditional Tremere Blue. Snaps to Hugo for going with the fashion trend we started. Tres chic!

 Speaking of fashion trends, darlings, we were somewhat disappointed with Sugarti.. Katja Nothing's shoe choices the first two evenings of the Event. Challenge accepted indeed!  Thursday night she wore utilitarian looking boots with a modest heel, and we don't even remember what she wore Friday night.  Though she did make up for it (at least a little) with Saturday night's strappy platform PVC stilettos.





Gossip

My my my, darlings, did you hear about the totally scandalous Toreador auction that Primogen Kyle Butler organized? No, they weren't auctioning off Toreador! They did; however, auction off the Right of Progeny in Columbus, a pint of Fiend Blood, Elder Werewolf blood, a clay T-Rex (that would turn into an ACTUAL T-rex!! Seriously, people!! There is this thing called the Masquerade!) and ... the most scandalous thing of all -- an alligator Zoot Suit. Whomever bought that thing, do not let us catch you wearing it or you will make the Gossip Rag!!!

From the lips of a prominent Brujah Prince, Archon Kate Davidson was apparently working off her community service as an auctioneer.

 In other news, Harry Fisher likes to wear women's underwear. Ahem.

Also, my dears, we heard the most scandalous news -- Larkin Ambrose has a Nosferatu lover!! Oh, it is Romeo and Juliet all over again, two star-crossed lovers whose Families hate each other. Let us hope it doesn't turn out like the play, dear ones.  We also heard that Larkin is *quite* the poker player and won a house full of "favors" at the Texas Hold 'Em game.  Too bad for William Harkness, that dashing Tremere from Maine.  He came in second.

Bunny the Monster Slayer, Nosferatu, diffused tension at the event on Friday when he started an impromptu Nosferatu dance party.  Silver, the Setite got down on the floor with he favorite Nos, as the room was equal parts horrified and amused at Bunny's pelvic thrusting to "I'm Sexy and I know it."

The decorators for the event had draped clan banners at the front of the room.  Prominently displayed in the center was that of Clan Nosferatu flanked by Ventrue and Tremere.  Nosferatu prince and all.  Brujah, most notably was quite a distance from the others.  In fact, it was all the way on the other side of the room.  Ahem.

However, at some point in the evening, perhaps because of Bunny's hot dance moves, the Brujah banner was finally moved back into place next to the others.





That is it for now, my lovelies!! As a reminder, we are everywhere -- and we are judging you. Oh yes, yes we are. We expect MUCH at the upcoming events in the next few months. Please wear something fabulous so that we can write about you. Or... point out your hated enemies worst hair day.

And, as a quick reminder, we have some utterly lovely and totally *scandalous* SECRET issues coming soon!! Contact us to subscribe!!!





(OOC Note -- We loved everyone's costumes! Really. No matter how bitchy we are in character, out of character we adored everyone. Please keep up the great costuming!!)

Letters from Heaven (Columbus, OH)

Darlings, DARLINGS. We have found the best, and I do mean THE BEST gossip!!! Two bits of pure unadulterated gossip fell into our lap tonight. It is to DIE FOR... if we weren't already dead.

One is just so utterly, utterly salacious that we had to omit the names to protect the guilty. 

----------------------
 Letters from Heaven!

[Prince] mon amour,

I will keep this short and sweet... Just like you are my button.

It's been months since I saw you, when we shared a table at the Prince's meeting at the Midwinter gathering, I even dropped you a line to say "hi" wanting to visit. I understand it was just you playing hard to get.

When you're ready to experience cainite love, call me an I'll bend you over proper sometime like a real lady of the night.

In the meantime, enjoy this gift as a token of our love.

Always with love,


[Templar]
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And now, the icing on the cake:  We heard that Lena! is in love with Paul Walker!!! Can we say Brujah Prince Triangle, darlings?? Can't wait to watch the fireworks.

Seriously, children, is this not the best gossip ever?? Oh, you are right, this gossip is actually the best!!

Look out for updates as we bring you the very best of Grand Elysium.

GE 2012 Promo

Voice Over: As we gear up for GE, we thought we'd treat our fans to a good old fashioned promo.  Crash & Burn have risked life and limb for you, and hit the street to bring you the latest news.
LAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!

WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA, THE CAMARILLA EDITION!!!!!!!


In this Corner, we have Tatiyana "Anya" Pyotrevna, the Blond Wonder, The Prince's Princess!,  The Queen of Hartford. CT.... LAADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- It's ANYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash:  You and Al X used to work so well together.  What happened?

Anya: You make incorrect assumptions in my intentions. We, as a Society, must maintain the laws, even amongst those that we love.

Burn: Woah woah woah. Are you saying that you love Al X? What about Paul? Wow! Panya really was SO six months ago!!!

Anya:  I do not desire for this drama to continue any more than anyone else does.  Yet, if you are challenging me, I may review your offer in another light.


Burn: Wow. UMmmmmmkay! Crash, let's get out of here before we piss her off even more. Moving along. Let's go ask Al X what he thinks about this...



 AND IN THIS CORNER -- the Nosferatu more feared than Shade, more wiley that E. Coyote, the Snitches, LAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN ....  the One, The Only, THE AL X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash:  So, Al X.  Big to-do coming up in Columbus.  How are you feeling?


Al X: (Loud snorting sounds)


Burn:  Oooook.  So you and Anya haven't exactly been BFFs lately.  Do you have anything you want to say to your opponent? 


Al X: I, Al X, have a question...to answer your question. As you, Anya, travel to...GRAND ELYSIUM...by conventional means, the normals you travel with experience malfunctions. As you realize ALL THAT IS LEFT is total self-destruction, do you, ANYA, show self-pity? DO YOU, Anya, try to reason why? Do you, Anya, try and comfort the normals that have even more fear than you?

Or do you, Anya, kick the doors out? Kick the cockpit door down. Take the two pilots that have already made the sacrifice so that you can face the challenge. Dispose of them, Anya. Assume the controls, Anya. SHOVE THAT CONTROL INTO A NOSEDIVE, ANYA! Push yourself to total self-dstruction. As you realize, Anya, you are about to enter a world close to Parts Unknown. Ah, smell it, warriors. Do you, Anya, look for a place to hide? Or do you, Anya, face the challenge that may be more powerful than EVEN YOU ARE, ANYA?!!

You, Anya, must self-destruct so that you will know, Anya, who is...The Chosen One. FOR ANYA, I am not the Chosen One...that you speak of. I am not. I, Al X, am...the only...one...



Okay peeps, there you have it. We're outahere.